Drunk or not, I will always love you
by DannyPeetaHaymitchgirl20
Summary: Haymitch has had his share of a traumatised past. But after the seventy fourth Hunger Games, Katniss meets Heather who was a former disgraced tribute from District 12. And as she opens her heart to Katniss and Peeta, she begins to fall into the arms of Haymitch. Is this a good thing, or will things turn sour?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own the Hunger Games. Everything is owned by Suzanne Collins. I hope you enjoy as I think that Haymitch needs someone to actually love him. Enjoy - SW

Chapter one:- Kindness

It was a beautiful day. The sky was blue and cloudless. The meadow was in full bloom with daisies, dandelions and many other small flowers. The bees buzzing lazily around collecting the pollen from every flower. The fragrance of the meadow began to make my head spin as I can never shake that smell from my nostrils. The smell of roses and blood.

It had been a week since Katniss and Peeta had arrived back to District 12 from the seventy-fourth Hunger Games and the whole of District 12 was in celebration.

Well, everyone but me. Personally, I think the Hunger Games are barbaric and they should be banned. Sending children in to fight for their lives. I mean, how does that seem fair. These children who haven't had many experiences to define them into the real characters that they will soon become after being in the arena. Hardly any of them have experienced true love, loss, any experiences that they could value. But then again, children who have nothing to loose. Nothing to die for. But I will never be in favour of the Hunger Games.

_NEVER! _

Peeta and Katniss were lucky to have survived the Hunger Games. But surely Katniss was going to be punished for the stunt that she pulled in the arena. Surely it shook the Capitol to its core, especially President Snow. Being humiliated and publicly outwitted by a sixteen year old girl. Surely a punishment would follow.

I stumble around, having survived a couple of days without actual food. Only eating small plants that, from my knowledge, wasn't able to harm me. I try and get to the Hob without falling but I am quite unsuccessful, but nobody helps me when I fall, since I am the laughing stock of District 12.

Katniss doesn't often visit the Hob now. And even if she does, its only a quick stop and then she is gone. Granted she has only been back for a week but she was probably still being tailed, without her knowing, by the Capitol's cameras. But today Katniss was perched on the table of Greasy Sae's. Today was wild dog stew. I amble to the table where Katniss ladles some of the stew into a bowl, I take the bowl and hand her some money and turn to leave.

The bowl is warm, and although it is the beginning of Autumn, the breeze definitely began to tell us that winter was coming, so the warmth from the bowl was very nice, helping me to warm up and try and keep a small part of me warm.

I was just exiting the Hob when a man bumped into me. My stew went all over my chest and abdomen, soaking through my stained shirt causing my skin to sear. I fell to my knees trying to withhold a scream but it was all I could do to not cry.

But I felt warm hands trying to help me to my feet, careful not to touch my shirt where the stew had soaked into my skin.

"I am sosorry," He says, his words slurring together and his breath smelling strongly of white liquor.

I didn't turn around but I yank myself free, "Why don't you watch where your going!" I hiss, holding my shirt away from my burning skin to prevent further damage.

The man doesn't say anything directly to me but he turns and mutters as he hastily moves away.

I felt tears begin to well in my eyes, knowing that I didn't have enough money to go get some more stew, so I pick up the bowl and my shawl that had fallen without noticing and started stumbling back in the direction to which I came.

I heard loud footfalls, as if someone was running behind me, I don't turn until a hand appears at my shoulder.

To my great surprise it was Katniss. She moved her hair out of her eyes and stared at me with the same Seam grey eyes.

She looked me up and down, as if she was sizing me up, before taking my bowl from me and running back in the direction to which she came from. I stood there, wondering if she was going to come back.

I was about to leave when she patted me on the shoulder.

"Here. I saw what happened and I brought you some more stew," she said, handing me the warm bowl.

I felt such gratitude, for once someone was kind enough to help me, "Thank-you miss Everdeen, but I don't have any money…"

She just smiled, "No need, I paid for it. And don't worry about Haymitch, he is very grumpy when he is drunk. Well, actually I think he is just an all round grump," she laughed.

I nodded, but before I could walk away Katniss took my arm, staring at my stained shirt and trousers, "Why don't you come with me. I can get you some fresh clothes."

I didn't object to her kindness. Even though many people walk past me every day and occasionally knock me over like Haymitch did, not many actually had the heart to help if things went wrong.

It's a well known fact that when you live in poor districts like District 12, you are on your own with your survival.

"If I may ask, who are you? I have seen you around the Hob from time to time but I don't know your name," She asks, leading me in the direction of the Victor's Village.

"A woman that everybody has forgotten about, and I would like it to stay that way," I whisper, hanging my head, letting my caramel brown hair fall across my face.

Katniss didn't press the matter any further as she could see that it pained me, so she directed her attention to the Village. Only three houses. One for herself and her family, and the others for Haymitch and Peeta. But at the very edge of the Victor's Village was a smaller house, one that was further away from the others, one that I knew all too well.

Katniss led me to her house, still staring at the lone house at the edge of the village. Her mother stood in the kitchen, staring out of the window as the breeze began to pick up into a steady wind. Even in the Autumn the weather was brutal.

I stay quiet as her mother attends to my burned flesh, and after a herbal remedy she and her young daughter Prim help me into a tepid bath to try and cool the flesh.

Prim helped me wash, and then helped me into a satin robe and led me to Katniss' room.

"She's ready Katniss."

Katniss turns and looks at me, although I am skinny, my bones don't jut out as much as they used to. But I was still frail and my skin looked like it was pulled too tight across my body. Looking like it was going to pierce it at any moment.

Katniss picks out some clothes that hang off me, but she says that I will fill out to fit in them.

I try to ask her what she meant by this but she was already explaining.

"I can tell you are sleeping rough, so I am going to give you a room here. You will have food, water, clean clothes and plenty of hot water to have baths," she says, helping me into some comfy slippers that instantly warm my freezing toes.

"Katniss I ca…"

Katniss waves her hand, "Listen, I might not know you but I know you have been like this for a good couple of years and I also know no one has come to your aid. So please let me help you."

I finally agree with much persuasion from both Katniss and her mother.

Her mother agreed it would be the right thing to do as it was getting closer to the winter and winter in District 12 was very brutal, and was pretty sure that if I went back out there that I would freeze to death.

But they have one condition, that I help as much as I can with her mother's healing since I do know a little about actual medicine.

Katniss shows me to my room which is exactly the same as hers and she helps me to the soft bed and lets me curl up under the covers.

"How did you end up sleeping in the streets?"

It was such a simple question, but with such a complicated answer.

I sit up and glance over at the lone house out of the window, "You see that house? That used to be mine. I was a tribute in the fifty-first Hunger Games. Heather, from District 12. But no one remembers me because of what I did," I whisper, placing my hands over my eyes.

Katniss was so intrigued, she took my hand and looked at me with such a warm gaze, "Tell me what happened." She urged.

So I did.

"I was in the fifty-first Hunger Games along with my lover Danny. We were both so upset that we would have to kill each other, but we both promised that we wouldn't kill each other unless it was to put one of us out of our misery. In the arena we stayed together, and stayed away from the other tributes. But the careers has released an angry swarm of Tracker Jackers and Danny was stung many times. But when releasing the Tracker Jackers, the rest of the tributes died. Danny was beyond repair and wasn't going to recover so he begged me to end it. I tried to tell him that he would make it, that we would work something out. But he was dying and he didn't want to go out like that. So he grabbed my hand and my hunting knife and placed it on his chest and helped me push it into his chest. Then before he died, he mouthed that he loved me and he also thanked me.

President Snow wasn't pleased with what had happened so he tried to let people use me, to make up for my mistakes. But I refused, so he killed my family. My mother, father, brother and two sisters."

Katniss was so moved by my story that she sat there and hugged me as years of grief came crashing down on me. I had managed to cry myself to sleep in Katniss' arms. But she had promised me that it would get better and she had also said that she was going to speak to Haymitch. See if she could get him to apologise. But I didn't want an apology. I wanted to apologise to him. But I would have to wait for the morning for that. And it didn't come swiftly without nightmares. No.

The nightmares had returned after years of silence. And I knew the nightmares would never go away.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two:- forgiveness

The next morning, Prim came into my room with a tray filled with toast, eggs and bacon. She slowly roused me from my uneasy sleep.

I slowly opened my eyes and settled them on Katniss' sweet little sister. Her golden hair and her eyes staring into mine.

"Good morning Heather, I hope you slept well," she asks, her smile growing slightly.

I return the smile. I didn't want to sound ungrateful so I just nodded and turn to see the tray loaded with food that could feed four other people besides me, "Surely this isn't all for me?" I question as my eyes almost pop out of my skull at the amount of food.

"You need to build up your strength and not to sound to blunt, but you could do with putting on a few pounds."

I know it wasn't meant as an insult but it still felt weird for a girl to tell me to gain some weight.

I pick up the fork and began to eat. It was all I could do not to stuff my face but it tasted so good. So much better than Greasy Sae's stew. I watch as Prim goes over to the closet and flips through the different outfits that Katniss had lent me.

I felt someone else's eyes on me so I turned around, Katniss was standing at the door wearing a pair of leather boots, trousers and a beautiful jacket.

"Prim, mother wants you," she says in a soft tone.

My eyes follow Prim as she happily skips past her sister and out of sight.

"How are you feeling?"

I swallow my mouthful and think of a response, "Better after being able to sleep."

Katniss knew I was lying and I was sure she knew why because she had the same dark circles under her eyes.

That's the problem, once you've been in the arena, you can never fully escape it's nightmares.

"Haymitch may be hung over but that is one of the best times to reason with him since he is hardly ever sober. And even when he is, he's still a big grump," Katniss explained, watching me fidget in my new fur-lined gloves and jacket.

To be honest, I felt like I was a teenager again facing the task of heading up to the stage after the reaping. But as far as I could tell, I was perfectly safe as long as Katniss was there next to me.

She opens the door to Haymitch's house and to be quite honest, it is exactly how I expected it would look like. The interior was a complete mess. The floor littered with half-eaten plates of food and liquor bottles, broken glass and broken furniture.

I am pretty sure this is what my house would have looked like if it was for the fact that I never got to set foot in the place and if I had followed Snow's orders and just do as I was told.

We climb the stairs and Katniss opens one of the doors to find Haymitch fully clothed, and asleep on his bed. He held a liquor bottle close to his chest and his other hand disappeared under the pillow. He is snoring softly and his face obscured by his hair.

"Haymitch?" Katniss whispers, but that doesn't work. Haymitch doesn't even twitch to her soft voice.

She moves closer, I stay in the door way so that I can make a quick escape, and picks up a pitcher of water and drizzled a little over his face.

He moves and says something that we both miss and turns over. So Katniss just dumps the whole contents of the pitcher all over his head.

He jumped up, sloshing the liquor over himself and began slashing the air with a large hunting knife.

I couldn't help but fear for my life so I ran. I ran down the stairs, trying to ignore Katniss calling me back. I won't go back. I slip on a liquor bottle and crashed down the stairs.

I must have blacked out because the next thing I remember is lying on my bed, Katniss leaning over me to dab a cool, damp cloth against my head.

I slowly became aware she wasn't alone. It wasn't Prim or her mother like I had expected, my next guess being Peeta but it wasn't him either. Instead there was a man sitting in the chair beside the bed, his shoulder length blonde hair and grey eyes. He was in different clothes and was clutching a cup of either coffee or tea instead of a liquor bottle.

"K...Katniss," I struggle to say, sounding as though I was drunk with the white liquor.

But she can just about hear what I say, "Heather..." sigh of relief, "You gave us quite a fright."

She read the confusion on my face, understanding that I didn't have a clue of what she was saying, "You got spooked when I woke Haymitch and you bolted. You tripped on a bottle and fell down the stairs and hit your head on the corner of a table. My mother says you are very lucky that you don't have brain damage, but you do have a broken wrist."

I sighed, I knew I was clumsy but this is getting ridiculous.  
Haymitch opened his eyes and focused on me. Like actually focused on me, not moving his eyes from me, like he was obliged to stay and watch over me. But his stare felt like he wasn't looking at me, like he was just staring but not seeing me.

I raise my hand to my head, feeling a decent size lump and a large gauze.

"My mother had to stitch you up, you had a pretty nasty gash," Katniss explains, continuing to dab the cloth on my head.

Haymitch still didn't speak.

I glance over at the window, feeling uncomfortable with Haymitch's lingering stare.

He must have sensed this because he clears his throat and says, "I am sorry I bumped into you yesterday. I had many things on my mind," not saying anything about him being drunk.

His voice soothes me, its a calm voice. A nice voice. It has a nice smooth sound. Not like yesterday when he was drunk as hell but it also had a sound of pain behind it. Like he had been through a tremendous amount of grief. I thought being in the Quarter Quell alone would have driven anyone to drink, but for some reason the ruggedly handsome man was driven into drink's wide spread arms for another reason. A reason I couldn't quite get hold of.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. You were only trying to help and... it was completely uncalled for," I say, watching his mouth twitch into a small smile.

Katniss stared at me, sliding off the bed and moving toward the door, "Try and get some rest," she says as she exits the room, leaving me with Haymitch.

For some reason I feel the same fear that I felt in his house when he was thrashing that knife around.

But Haymitch just sat there, the small smile still playing on his lips, "Don't worry sweetheart. I am not going to hurt you. I think you've been through enough these past twenty odd years Just get some sleep and we will talk when you wake," He says, closing his eyes, raising his cup to his forehead and rolling it back and forth as if trying to get rid of a headache.

"Talk about what?" I ask, eager to know what he was talking about.

He sighed and opened his eyes, "Why your not dead and what happened to you after Snow killed your family."

I had never told anyone other than Katniss what had happened. And I trusted her enough that she wouldn't blab that to just anyone. So that brings the question how did he know about that.

He saw the confusion flit across my face, "I know who you are Ms Milton and I think we can help each other,"He says.

I don't press the matter further as I can tell he is getting irritated, so I just snuggle further into the covers and replay his words over and over in my head until I fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:- Understanding

When I woke up, I was screaming. Danny had visited my dreams. Mostly the moment when he helped me drive the knife into his chest. And it was so vivid, like I was watching it happen before my eyes.

_Danny stared up at me. His face untouched by the tracker jacker stings but all over his neck and body he had large lumps that began to surface on his skin. _

"_You...you have to do it Heather,"he whispered, holding my hand. _

_But I couldn't, I wouldn't, "No, Danny. We... we can figure something out. Please don't make me do this," I cried, taking his hand and bringing it up to my lips. _

_Danny laughed and winced, "I don't want to die like the others. Please do this for me." _

_I shook my head, tears streaming down my face, "Your not going to die Danny, we can get help. HELP US!" I screamed at the sky, wanting one of the sponsors to send some sort of medicine which would prevent him from dying._

"_They won't do anything, we are the last tributes. Heather, look at me, I know it will be hard but I am sure that you will find another man who is so much better than me and can give you so much more than I can," he whimpered, taking my free hand and placed his hunting knife in my hand. _

_I refused, screamed, begged, but he didn't release his grip from me until the knife was hovering just above his chest. He placed the knife fully in my hand and pushed down into his ribcage. _

_I screamed, wanting him to let go, watching as the blood began to flow around the knife. _

"_I will always love you," he said, tears welling in his eyes once again, "You... need to know that... I..." _

_He took one last shuddering breath and then he was still. _

_I couldn't believe he was gone. That he was dead. So I ripped the knife out of his chest, placing my hands over the wound to stop the blood flow. But it was useless. I rested my lips on his and as I kissed him I heard the cannon sound. My sobs coming in waves as I laid my head against his chest and listened to the silence of the meadow._

"_Congratulations to our Victor and Winner of the fifty-first Hunger Games, Heather Milton from District 12," The head game maker announced. _

_I lifted my head and took a firm hold of the knife in my hands as I heard the hovercraft coming, "YOU WILL NOT HAVE A VICTOR THIS YEAR!" I scream as I launched the blade into my abdomen._

That's when I wake up, screaming my head off, tears streaming down my face. My stomach piercing with pain as the memory of the actual pain came rushing back to me.

Haymitch must have been still sitting there because I felt him climb into the bed and carefully restrain me. I tried to rip out of his grasp, trying to see if I had stabbed myself again.

"Easy sweetheart, breathe," he soothes, stroking my hair as he tries to calm me down.

I continue to fight against him but he just keeps speaking to me, still trying to calm me.

"Hey, listen. You had a bad dream, it's okay your safe,"he cooed.

I stared at my hands, although they were clean, I could see the blood coating my hands, the dark red blood dripping down onto the covers and disappearing.

I scream again, this time instead of fighting against Haymitch I just lean against him, burying my face into his chest. My sobs shaking the fragile frame of my body.

Haymitch just let me cry, rubbing my back and saying soothing words like, "It was only a nightmare" or "Your safe" or "I've got you". Even though, when drunk, he can be cruel I realised that he was still kind and still had a lot of love and compassion in his heart. Haymitch readjusted himself so he was lying on his back, my head resting on his chest as I continue to cry and let the grief for Danny flow.

I was calm enough to raise my head and look into Haymitch's eyes, I could see my eyes reflected in his, my pain in his. We had both gone through a similar past.

He smiles slightly, though the tone of his voice was still soft, "Feeling better?" he asks, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb.

I shook my head, knowing that I had blocked this grief for years and am now paying the price. So I resume to silently crying, placing my head back on his chest. Hearing his heartbeat was some what comforting.

But Haymitch didn't leave, he just stayed with me, stroking my hair, trying to ease my suffering with his words.

So this must be what a sober Haymitch is like or at least one side of him.

I must have fallen into a light sleep because I hear Haymitch talking to Katniss who must have come to see what the screaming was about.

"Katniss, she woke up screaming, so I am comforting her,"Haymitch says.

I can still feel his chest under my head, hearing his heartbeat and his hand still caressing my hair. Occasionally catching my skin and sending the cells wild as a warmth spreads through me. A feeling like I have never felt before.

"She has nightmares? About the arena?"

Haymitch shifts slightly and pulls the covers up over us, "I think every victor does. I escape it from drinking too much, she escaped from it possibly through morphling or just blocking it out completely."

Katniss took a while to reply, "Do you want to come down stairs?"

I felt Haymitch shake his head, "No, I will stay until she wakes up. Hopefully she will get some peace."

I heard Katniss leave and I move my head towards his heart so my head was resting right over it and slowly drifted off.

Yet again I was awakened by another nightmare, Haymitch was still there, stroking my hair. I wasn't as wild as I was when I had woken to the last one but crying all the same.

I sat up wiping my eyes and staring at a spot on the wall, trying to avoid Haymitch's gaze.

"You feeling any better?" he asks, putting his hand on my back.

I think about my response. If I lie, I could be pushing him away but if I tell the truth I might fall back into the nightmare and start all over again. So I decide to tell him a mixture of both the truth and a lie.

"I'm better, still a little upset but a little better. And I am sorry about that, you didn't have to comfort me. I am quite used to being on my own."

Haymitch was slightly pained by this. I could see in his eyes that he wanted to be rewarded for his attempt to make me happier by letting me grieve but not alone, "Oh sweetheart, I wanted to since we have both been through very similar events."

I am about to ask him what he meant but then I realise that President Snow also had his family killed as well because of the incident with the force field. So I wasn't completely alone when I say I am the only victor going through this.

"I am sorry. I didn't know."

Haymitch shrugs, throwing his legs off the bed and standing up to stretch, "Its fine, not many people do."

I wanted him to stay but I couldn't think of something to say. Something that will make him turn around until I say, "Haymitch," in the most upset tone that I could muster.

He turns slightly, seeing the fresh tears in my eyes, but he doesn't move. It is like he is frozen to the spot and he cannot move. I get up and move toward him, taking his face in my hands, ignoring the pain in my wrist and plant a kiss on his lips. He doesn't pull away since it must be the first time he has felt another woman's lips against his in years, but he doesn't exactly kiss me back. But when I pull away, he looks at me with bewilderment before returning the favour. Feeling his lips mould against mine. Moving with mine. His lips sending a serge of heat through me. He uses his other hand and grabs me by the waist, pushing me closer to him.

When he pulls away, a smile spreads across his face as he moved a strand of my hair out of my eyes and tucks it snugly behind my ear. But the smile is not returned. I only kissed him with gratitude not because I am in love with him. Or am I? I feel conflicted, not knowing how to feel and which emotion was right.

I put some distance between us, "Thank you Haymitch."

His face turns sour, as if he had just eaten a really sharp fruit, and he grabs his cup from the floor and marches out of the room and out of sight leaving me standing there, feeling absolutely stupid and confused.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four:- Admitting the truth

After Haymitch walked out, I slowly sat on the edge of my bed. My wrist was throbbing and my head was pounding but that wasn't the cause of the pain that I am feeling. It was my chest. Aching because for the first time in a long while, I have felt like someone loves me. So what if it was only for a few hours while I was trying to sleep through the nightmares, it still felt like genuine love. And that is what was hurting me. The look that Haymitch threw me sent chills down my spine, a look of hatred, as if I had pushed him away because I was tangled up in what to feel.

I change into the clothes that Katniss had put of the back of the chair that Haymitch had sat on and make my way down the stairs to the kitchen.

Katniss, Peeta and Prim were sitting at the table. Peeta was drawing a flower in a book while Katniss and her sister watch in fascination at the precision of the drawing. They all look up at me as I enter, sitting beside Katniss and laying my head down on my arms.

"Heather, are you okay?" Peeta asks. Its the first time that he has directly spoken to me, but I vaguely remember Katniss calling for Peeta when I had fallen down the stairs. It was fuzzy but I could just about make out his voice in the memory.

I nod, unsure that if I spoke that my voice would crack and I would break down in tears.

Katniss nudged her little sister, "Why don't you find Buttercup, I am sure that cat is around here somewhere, looking for you?" She suggests, watching as her sister nods and again like this morning, skips happily to look for her cat.

Once Katniss is sure that she is gone she leans in close to me, "I told Peeta what happened to you and the fact that you are haunted by those nightmares and he has some suggestions."

I watch Peeta, how he moves as he closes the book as sets it to one side, how his kind blue eyes look into mine. I knew she would tell Peeta, but there was no suggestion that could help my nightmares since they appear every time I close my eyes for a long period of time.

"Your having nightmares about your Hunger Games?" Peeta asks.

I nod.

"Well, have you tried recording your dreams and then trying to figure out what they mean?" He asks.

"Its the same dream, over and over. What's to figure out? That I am constantly feeling guilty for killing Danny," I say, my voice doesn't crack but I can feel the tears building up behind the flood gates.

Peeta nods, pressing his lips together and stroking his chin, "Well my mother said creating something could help with the nightmares. Like a so called 'magic circle'. It helps trick the mind into feeling safe and therefore bad dreams tend not to occur."

I shake my head.

Peeta sighs, "Well you could buy a dream catcher. Simply believing that it works could help."

_The only thing that I can think of that would work would be Haymitch_, I think.

"I'll try them out, but I don't think they with stop them," I say, like I had originally predicted, I hear my voice crack.

Katniss stares at my in a sympathetic way, as if to say _don't worry I have the nightmares too._

But the nightmares that possibly occur in her head is loosing Peeta or seeing the Muttations.

I stand, looking at the clock, 5 o'clock, "Well I am going to see Haymitch, I need to thank him," I say.

Katniss nods, "I think he went home. Do you want me to come with you?"

I shake my head, there is something I have to do and I couldn't do it with Katniss looking over my shoulder.

Peeta stands as well, "I need to go as well, my mother wants some cakes made and I said I was only coming for a quick visit," although they weren't officially together, his leans down and kisses Katniss on the cheek before escorting me out.

Peeta stays by me, his house is next to Katniss' but since I am a slow walker, he stays to talk.

I can see the cogs turning in his head, he is probably thinking on how I could do such a thing, how I could easily kill my Danny.

"I didn't want to do it," I mumble, breaking the silence between us.

He looks at me, "Do what?"

"Kill Danny. I never wanted to do that, he made me do it," I whisper as flashes of that moment come to me.

Peeta nods, understanding my pain, "I know. I wanted Katniss to help me but she was to stubborn. She went to that Buffet and got the medicine I needed."

"I know she did," I say, laughing as I knew how stubborn Katniss Everdeen can be. Even though I didn't put up much of a fight, I knew she wasn't going to let me spend one more night in the streets of the Seam.

We both have a laugh before we turn up at Peeta's victor house. He says goodbye and walks in.

Next stop Haymitch's.

I step up to the door, knocking twice. I hear nothing, no answer, no shuffling footsteps. I just hear silence so I carefully push open the door. The house was darker than Katniss'. Maybe it was because all the curtains were drawn and the house was painted in a dark burgundy but it wouldn't cause the house to be almost pitch black. I blindly make my way to the stairs, smoothing my boot over each step to make sure there was no bottles for me to trip on.

Haymitch wasn't in any of the rooms that I had checked upstairs. All I found was empty liquor bottles scattered in every space available.

Angry that I couldn't resolve this between us, I march down the stairs and jump out of my skin when he speaks.

"Please _don't_ stomp around sweetheart, you sound like a herd of stampeding elephants."

I turn to find that the pitch black room was now brightly lit. It would be a nice living space if it wasn't littered with bottles and plates. Haymitch is slumped on the sofa, his feet propped up by the glass table that sat in front of a beautiful fire place, a bottle of liquor in his grasp.

"Haymitch I..."

"I know why your here Heather, I might be slightly drunk but I am not that stupid."

I stand my ground, not wanting to cry at the harshness of his voice.

I make my way over to him, observing that he doesn't have the large hunting knife with him.

"Haymitch, I am so sorry. I just wasn't expecting..."

He launched himself off the sofa, leaving the liquor bottle on the cushion and moved so he towered over me, "Wasn't expecting what sweetheart? You kiss me and you didn't expect that I would kiss you back. Well missy, you were wrong, weren't you," he hisses with as much venom as he could muster. He is a good foot taller than me, even in my heeled boots. But I look up into those grey eyes, "Haymitch, I wasn't thinking, I was too busy..."

Haymitch throws his head back and laughs. His laugh scares me, scares me so much I want to run away and forget that our meeting here never happened, but he had me frozen to the spot.

"What? What were you so busy doing? Huh? Thinking how I have let myself drown my sorrows, trying to forget what happened to me. Or where you thinking of how a repulsive man could have an ounce of compassion for another person? Huh? Which is it?" he shouts, leaning into me so his face was inches from mine.

I tear my gaze away from him and look at the floor, tears began to spring up into my eyes. I try to push them back, to show that his words haven't harmed me but there are too many of them and they start to spill over.

I try to answer but I can't. His words stung. No they hurt me. Like little tiny knives to the heart.

"That sweetheart, is what I thought!" he snapped, "Because how can a man as repulsive as me have any compassion for a woman. And how can a woman like yourself have an inch of love for a man like myself. A man who is always drunk as hell. No one can."

He turns so his back is facing me, his head hung and scrubbing his face with his hand.

I perk up, "I do!" at my words he turns, his face ashen and his mouth mashed into a grim line, "I do have a shred of compassion for you. When you helped me up yesterday, yeah I was angry because I was in pain and so what if I snapped at you but I was grateful that you had the guts to come back and help me! I am also grateful for what you did today! You didn't have to lay there in my bed and help me try and fight through those nightmares but you did! You didn't have to sit there for nearly three hours saying it will be alright and that I am here! But don't you dare think that I don't care about you Mr Abernathy!"

I am on such a roll that I start to bring up my past, a past he has surely forgotten after years of drinking, "I have cared about you for a long time! When you were my mentor for the fifty-first Hunger Games! When I came out as a victor, broken, bleeding and grieving for Danny, I still cared about you because I thought Snow was going to kill you because of the stunt I pulled in the arena! I have cared about you for all these years Haymitch! I do care Haymitch Abernathy..."

He stops me there by pressing his lips against mine. The heat searing from his lips to mine and flowing right through my body and into my core. Igniting something inside me that I thought was long dead. Such passion and love began to erupt out of my heart, love that I thought had died along with Danny.

When he pulls away, I am frozen to the spot, staring into the now warm grey eyes of a man who has finally accepted that someone cares.

He takes my hand, leaving the half empty liquor bottle behind and led me to the kitchen where he brews two cups of coffee and we just sit there talking for a while.

It was like Haymitch had wanted that all along. For someone to admit that they cared about him, loved him. That, I think, was the push that he needed.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five:- Our families

We must have been talking for hours before the question about our families comes in to play.

"So why did Snow kill your family?" I ask, trying not to sound to blunt.

Haymitch takes a swig of his coffee and glances at me, his eyes clouding over slightly, "My family were killed because of what happened with the force field."

I shook my head, "That is stupid, anyone could have accidentally used the force field to repel an object that is flying straight for their heads," I say, taking his hand in mine.

He begins to play with my fingers, caressing the top of my hand with his thumb in circular motions, "He killed them as an example. When he killed them, I was still recovering from major surgery to put my guts back inside me," he mumbles, lifting his shirt with the other hand and tracing the large jagged scar that reached from one side of his abdomen to the other.

"They might be brilliant now, in the fact that they can erase scars and make some injuries look like they never happened, but back when they were helping me, they weren't so far advanced. I lost, from what the doctor had said, a couple of litres of my blood volume and that I was lucky to be alive. But when I was well enough, I attended the interview with Caeser and he asked me how I felt about loosing my family. But I didn't understand what he meant so I thought he was joking. And it wasn't until I got home that I saw that my home had been ransacked and the place covered in blood."

Haymitch's eyes began to well with tears, it seemed that he also had blocked out his grieving, but I just wrap my arms around him which was returned by him patting my back softly.

"President Snow aired it on all district broadcasts and said, "Mr Abernathy's family are a perfect example of why you should play the Hunger Games by our rules, not your own!"' He says, trying to mimic Snow's low voice.

I watch as he wipes the tears away, clearing his throat and turns to look at me. His eyes no longer shadowed by the past. Like a huge weight had finally been lifted off of his shoulders for sharing his pain with me.

"Why did he kill yours?"

I took a shuddering breath and began to explain that I wouldn't do what he wanted me to do. To let the Capitol citizens purchase me for the evening and then send me back like an unwanted toy the next day.

"When I told him I wouldn't do it he set two peacekeepers to restrain me while another two brought in my whole family. And I thought he was bluffing when he said he would kill them if I didn't agree to his terms so he shot them one by one. When he shot my brother, who was the first, I said that I would do it but he just kept on going until he got to my one year old sister and killed her. It was after he told the peacekeepers to dispose of the bodies that he told me, "I no longer have any use for you," and he sent me back to Twelve."

I didn't cry, but Haymitch's arms were right around me, engulfing me in his warm embrace. I rest my head on his shoulder as he strokes the back of my hair.

"We all have some vendetta against him," he says in a soft voice.

After that we didn't speak for a while. He just sat there with me in his arms and it wasn't until I said, "I better get back," that he relinquishes his hold on me and leads me to the door.

"Will you come back?"

I thought about it, "Only if A. you clear out the plates, I will help you with the bottles later, and B. you find another place to keep that hunting knife," I demand, knowing he will do at least one of these things.

He smiles a crooked smile which makes my heart jump out of sync, "Done deal."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six:- Farewell

Over the next couple of weeks, Haymitch and I began to really bond. I haven't exactly spent all my time at Haymitch's, but I try and spend as much time with him as I possibly can without suspicion from the Everdeens. It was actually fun to be in a secret relationship, all the sneaking around and trying not to seem funny or out of character. Although I am pretty sure that Katniss suspects us.

She had told Peeta, to which I overheard him say, "Be happy for them Katniss, and anyway just think about it. Haymitch hasn't been drinking as much. And he is definitely a happier man which means he might just treat us differently."

Katniss didn't speak after that, but he was right. I had such a good influence on Haymitch that he had stopped his excessive drinking. He hadn't quit altogether but he had definitely cut back. He was drinking two glasses a day and on the weekends we share a bottle between us. He still has a little in his morning coffee but I knew that he wouldn't drink any more until the evening.

The house was better too. We had opened the curtains and cleared up all the bottles, glass and broken furniture with the help of Gale's mother. The burgundy walls now brought a sense of warmth to the house, the floors has a thorough clean. Haymitch was very pleased with how his house looked which was a good sign as he was taking more pride in his appearance and the house's appearance.

All of this happened on the first week together. The rest of the time, I spent with him, curled up by his side.

It is the day before Haymitch, Effie, Peeta and Katniss would head off on the victory tour to the other Districts. I help Haymitch pack some suits that I have repaired and washed, to which he had tried them on and non of them looked like they had been ripped. I stood there folding them neatly and placing them into a bag.

Haymitch was leaning against the cabinet, sipping his coffee and watching me. I feel his eyes drinking me in as if I were the sweetest, most delicious alcohol in the world, as he watches me work.

Sadly I wasn't allowed to go on the victory tour. Not even as a supporting party. But Haymitch said that I was allowed to attend the Victory Ball which would be held in the Capitol after the victory tour was finished. He says that there would be some Capitol peacekeepers to escort me safely to the Ball but I never can trust peacekeepers. Not after what they did.

Haymitch heaves himself off the cabinet, ambling over to me, snaking his hands down my arms to my hands, causing my skin to fire up with the heat that he brought along with his touch.

I loose my concentration as he then places his hands on my hips, his lips just brushing against my ear.

I turn and smile, "I am trying to pack your clothes," I mumble, tilting my body into his.

I watch as his eyebrows slowly knit together, "Your upset?" he says, his voice not loosing the seductive tone which drew me closer to him.

"Only a little, because I want to be with you, but I can't so I am going to have to put up with two weeks without you," I whisper, letting my hair create a barrier between us.

He sighs, rubbing my back with one hand, the other smooths my hair out of my face. It was like he couldn't bare to not see my face, "I know, but just think. When you see me in the Capitol, it will be like a romantic reunion. We'll dance, have a meal and afterwards we will head back to twelve."

I laugh, imagining it. Like a cliché book. Where the couple run for each other and spend a day together of complete bliss.

"Sounds like a good plan."

He smiles too, his eyes sparkling with delight. He starts to sway slightly as if we were dancing to some sort of slow music.

I look up, raising my hands up behind his neck, locking them into place, "But there is one issue," I say, chewing on my bottom lip.

His face clouds over, shaking his head so his hair wasn't in his eyes in order to see my properly, "what?"

"I... can't dance," I whisper, lowering my head in embarrassment.

Haymitch pulls a face of mock horror, before laughing. He cups his hand under my chin and tilts so I could see his face, "Well sweetheart, you seem to be doing fine."

Glancing down at us, I raise my eyebrows, "But we're just swaying?"

He nods, "So what if you can't dance. I can and if those Capitol folks don't like it then screw them, because you don't have to move your feet to dance. You can just sway."

I giggle, seeing his face erupt with happiness as he twirls me. Seeing Haymitch like this is so beautiful because he was finally letting me in, allowing me to be apart of his life. Allowing to move past the darkness in his life and move toward the light.

It also made him very happy to see me laughing and smile with him instead of being judged by everyone as a cruel, sarcastic drunk, that most people saw him as. It was good for him to see that he makes me laugh, makes me smile which makes me love him even more.

"I'm going to miss you," I whisper, resting my head on his chest. My words slightly muffled by his shirt.

Haymitch lowers his chin so its lightly resting on my hair.

"I know. I am going to miss you too," he says softly, kissing my head.

I raise my head and I see my small private smile that makes my heart flutter like a hummingbird's wings, "I am glad." Reaching up on tiptoes, I press my lips gently on his and kiss him.

After packing his clothes, we head over to Katniss' and he helps me pick out a dress although he only looks at pictures that I asked Peeta because I want him to wait until the Victory Ball for him to see the actual dress. And the day feels like it could never end and it was absolute bliss.

That night, Haymitch suddenly wakes, bolting up right.

It is enough to wake me from my sleep as I didn't feel Haymitch's warm arms around me. I slowly raise up, seeing him panting as if he had been out running, his hands covering his face.

"Hey, are you alright?" I ask, my voice thick with sleep.

He nods, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Yeah sorry, go back to sleep."

I don't, instead I wrap my arms around his bare chest, "What was it about?"

He looks at me, although it is dark I am pretty sure he can see the concern on my face, "It was about you."

He pulls me back, lying back down on the bed, allowing me to lay my head on his chest. He wraps his arms over my back.

"You were running through a forest, you were running from me. But then Snow ran past me and after you. You were screaming, screaming for me so I ran after him. But when I got there I was too late. He was just running away from your body. His lips covered in your blood.

It was so vivid. Like it was actually real."

I lift my head, pressing my lips onto his, trying to tell him that I wasn't dead, that I was right here.

Rolling over, he moved his hand down to my thigh, gripping it tightly as if he needed an anchor to this reality. His body pressed against mine, radiating his heat through me. His lips moving passionately around mine. Small tears falling against my lips. Haymitch was crying. Like actually crying. So for the remainder of the night I proved to him that I was still here, still breathing. Still his.

The next morning I was allowed in the car to the station. Effie wasn't all that impressed that I was tagging along. Her lavender lips pursed, she had to readjust her purple wig twice, as if she was jealous.

Haymitch smirks, keeping one arm draped over my shoulder, holding me close.

When we arrived, I said my goodbyes to Peeta and Katniss, wishing them the best of luck. Effie had just threw her head up high and strode onto the train, almost bumping into the revolving door on her way in.

When it came to Haymitch, I put my hands on either side of his face and kissed him with the same amount of passion that I had given him in last night's sport.

"I love you Haymitch," I say as he strokes my cheek.

"I love you too," he grins.

Effie pokes her head around the door, trying to hurry him along. Peeta and Katniss shaking their heads in their compartments.

"I don't have to worry about her do I?" I ask, genuinely worried that she might try and steal him from me.

But Haymitch reassures me with a kiss, "Not in the slightest, she just needs to loosen her corset," He laughs as he boards the train.

I wave the train off, staying until its just a little speck on the horizon, before walking back to the car, tears sparkling in my eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven:- Secrets

Two weeks passed. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I spent most of my time helping Mrs. Everdeen with patients and helping Gale's mother with keeping Haymitch's house up to standard. I spent my nights at Haymitch as I was egged on by Mrs. Everdeen to spill the beans, so I told her that Haymitch and I were seeing each other so she understood when I said, "Being in his house helps with the nightmares." Which was a total lie because it kinda doesn't help. Having his arms around me would help, but until I get to the Capitol, I wouldn't have that luxury. The nightmares no longer focused on Danny. They focused purely on Haymitch's nightmare of my death by Snow. This really scared me as once I had managed to sleep walk to the kitchen and pick up a knife. I was lucky that I had only come away from that with a small graze over my hip where the knife has caught my skin. But throughout the rest of my time alone I would lock the kitchen so I couldn't get in, so it stopped me from skewering myself.

On the evening before I was supposed to go to the Capitol, I had had my evening meal at the Everdeens. Mrs. Everdeen and I were washing up when she turns to face me, "Thank you."

I stare at her, a smile crept onto my lips, "Its the least I could do."

She glance at me, shaking her head, "Not for this, I mean I do thank you for all the help you have given me,"she stutters, "I mean, thank you for being there for Katniss."

I move my hair out of my eyes, "What do you mean?"

Mrs. Everdeen mashes her lips into a grim line, trying to think up a response to my question, "Well even though Haymitch was her mentor during the Hunger Games, she felt like she couldn't talk to him about it because she thought he might not listen and shun her away. I mean, what you have done, you have done brilliantly with helping to turn Haymitch's life around. He seems really happy but she still is... scared of him..."

I glance at her, feeling defensive, "What do you mean by scared of him?" I ask, trying very hard to hide the harsh tone in my voice.

"Its not that she is scared of Haymitch. Because I know she would much rather talk to him than me, but she is scared of what the arena has done to him. Scared that what has happened to him, might happen to her..."

I hold up my hand, stopping her, "Katniss is a smart girl and knows that drinking will only make it worse. Haymitch only chose alcohol because his family were murdered when he was released from the Capitol,"I interjected, wanting her to understand.

Mrs. Everdeen nods, letting my words sink in, "I think its that she is worried by what she done in the arena. She is worried that Snow might do something from when she pulled out the Nightlock. But anyway, since you have had the same experience as her and that you both have nightmares about what happened, I just wanted to thank you. I know I can never venture and understand that part of her life, but you, you are returning my Katniss to me."

My expression softens, realising that she wasn't trying say things about Haymitch, although they can be very true. So I nod and smile at her, "I know that Katniss definitely wants to talk to you about it. But she is just scared that you might think less of her if she breaks down and cries about it because it is that frightening. She is worried that talking about it and not really knowing if she is alive would bring bad memories to you and Prim."

Mrs. Everdeen nods, understanding, "I will talk to her when she gets back. But thanks anyway. I am sure that you wouldn't want to have the same connection."

I nod, my grin widening as I accept her now opening arms and walk into them.

A warm feeling coursing through my veins, although I so much prefer Haymitch's heat radiating through my body.

I couldn't sleep. The nightmare had returned. Even with one of Haymitch's shirts in my grasp, his sent engulfing me. It isn't enough to stop Snow from hunting me down and snatching my life away. It was so different to Haymitch's but exactly the same. Maybe because it is in my point of view. The fact that I am running around in a forest that is all too familiar to me. A crazed man with white hair sprinting after me and a very frightened Haymitch then chasing him.

Feeling the impact as Snow pounces on me, driving a long knife into my heart and putting his lips to the wound. Quickly making a get away before Haymitch finds my body. Blood leaking out of my mouth as I try to form his name. But I cannot speak. My words have been stolen, just like my life has been stolen. And I watch as Haymitch throws his head back and lets out a blood curdling scream and then places his head on my shoulder, trying to avoid my dead eyes as he lowers his head.

I woke up screaming. My breath coming in rapid, sharp gasps, just as Haymitch's had. Although Haymitch wasn't here to prove to me that I was okay.

My hands grope at my chest as I fumble with the buttons and look at my cleavage where to wound had been only to find my skin.

So I decide to stay awake, staring out the window and waited for what the dawn would bring.

The peacekeepers knock on the door bright and early, I hand over my bag and am escorted to the car. I say quick goodbyes to Mrs. Everdeen and a very tired looking Prim before setting off for the train station.

As always the food was exceptional, sending my taste buds into a frenzy. The sleep on the train wasn't the best but at least I wasn't haunted by the nightmares. The only reason I could come up with was that since I believed that the feeling that Haymitch was close chased the nightmares away.

By the morning, signs of the Capitol were already in view as I sat there eating a piece of bread and marmalade. The small buildings before the tunnel were just being touched with the suns soft glow.

The train started to slow down, pulling into the station and my heart jolted as I spot more peacekeepers. As I exit the train, I am escorted to another car. This one takes me to a huge mansion, one I swear that I have seen before but I was too caught up in the beauty of the place. The flowers bright and vibrant. Roses of every colour had been coaxed to climb up the fencing. The peacekeepers took me straight to the door, I knocked.

The door opened, a tall man with an expressionless face was standing in front of me in butler attire.

"Who's plus one?"

I peaked past him and stared at the beauty of the mansion. Many paintings of the landscapes and different roses. A large staircase facing the front of the house and leading up to the second and third floors.

The man clears his throat, "Oh, Haymitch Abernathy."

He nods, inviting me inside and leads me up the staircase, and to the third floor where Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch were spending just so they could change into the cloths that they needed for the ball. He lead me to one room, "Mr Abernathy's room, your room is just there," he says, pointing to the door just opposite.

I nod, "Thank you."

The butler takes a low bow and leaves me. I walk to the opposite room to find a massive bed. Like the beds that were on the train. To my right was a large bathroom, complete with a large bath and shower. I lay on the bed, spreading out, feeling the memory foam mattress mould to my body.

I begin to prepare for the ball, taking my dress out and slipping it over my body to check out how nice it was since I had only tried it on once when Katniss was showing me her vast closet of elegant gowns. The dress was perfect. It was red with a lace top and a really low back. It was so low it just came up just shy of the small of my back. I check that I fits perfectly, hugging me at the hips and flowing down past my ankles. The silky fabric softer than any of the other dresses that I had ever tried on before.

I spend most of my afternoon pampering myself. A long luxurious bubble bath with a small glass of wine. Painting my face with make up, knowing it won't be as brilliant as the Capitol's standards but for me, I think it really brought out my personality. Earthy tone eye shadow and light pink blusher to add a slight bit of colour to my face. And light pink lips. Then onto my hair. I place hair pins to keep my flowing caramel hair down to one side and made sure it looked perfect. And then it was time to put on my dress and a necklace that used to belong to my mother before Snow killed her. The red jewel resting snugly at the hollow of my throat.

I was ready. I then walked out of my room in my new heels, struggling to walk but after a few times of pacing up the small corridor I was fine.

I opened Haymitch's door a crack to hear him humming a happy song in the shower.

I giggle and then make my way to the butler to ask where Katniss' room was and knocked once. Her stylist Cinna opened the door, his face pulled up into a smile.

"Is Katniss in here?" I ask trying to peer around him.

"Yes she is, come in," he says, "I see that you are wearing one of the gowns that I have designed."

I being to explain but he holds up his hand, "No need to explain, I think it suits you. Katniss told me everything in District 5."

I laugh and move into the room, almost tripping over a random brush.

Sitting at the desk was Katniss, Octavia and Fluvius were just finishing up her make up.

When she was done, she twirled around in her dress, her face truly exquisite.

"Oh Katniss, your so beautiful," I say, tears threaten to fall down my cheek. Her make up definitely trumps mine as I had only spend fifteen minutes on mine but hers must have taken at least an hour.

"So do you, I can see Haymitch's face now," She giggles as she makes a face, making me giggle with her.

Even on the third floor we could hear the music of the hall radiating through the floor. The sound so clear you could actually make out the notes that were being played. It was exactly how I had imagined it when Haymitch and I were swaying in his room as I tried to pack his bag. When Katniss was completely ready, we began to step down the staircase.

The ballroom was a large room, the walls had different tables of food around the dance floor, a small band in another corner of the room. It was full of people dressed it very bright clothing, anything from long elegant ball gowns to puffy bell dresses.

Katniss' mocking jay pin seemed to be everywhere. Printed on people's dresses, earrings, cuff links, even tattooed on people's skin.

Haymitch was standing along side Peeta, leaning against the walls, watching everyone dance.

His eyes caught sight of me and his jaw dropped to the floor, drinking me in as I came to stand a couple of feet away from him. I half ran, half walked toward him, throwing my arms around his neck, crushing my lips against his. His sent filling me, and the stubble on his chin tickled mine.

"Hey," I say, breathlessly.

"Did you miss me?" he asks smiling, "Good job sweetheart, you have definitely impressed me."

He gives me a twirl so he can take a good look at me. I laugh, then embrace him ready to kiss him again when I smell a familiar sent. I place my head on his shoulder, peeping around, trying to find the source of the sent. That's when I see him. The smell of blood and roses fills my nostrils that I find it so hard not to start gagging.

The man who was a little way in front of us had unnatural white hair and beard, snake like eyes and puffy lips.

My arms tense around Haymitch as I take a sharp, ragged breath.

President Snow!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own the hunger games

Chapter eight:- Comfort

"Sweetheart, your crushing me," Haymitch says in a strained tone. I release my grip from him, not taking my eyes off Snow.

"Sorry," was all I could make out.

Haymitch glances at me, concern flash through his eyes. He then gazes over in the direction that I was staring in and steers me to the drinks table.

As he led me away I hear Katniss say, "What's up with her?"

"Snow," Peeta mumbled.

I grab a glass of white liquor and swallow it in one gulp, hoping the effects would start to numb me soon. Haymitch's eyes stare at me, his mouth mashed into a grim line. He puts his drink down, barely having touched it and leads me to the open door were we catch some fresh air.

"I am so sorry Heather, I should have told you the ball was at Snow's mansion," he mumbles, wrapping me in his warm embrace.

I stare up at him, even in my heels my head was just level with his nose so I reach up on tip toes and press my lips to his.

"Its fine. I think I need to overcome my hatred, after all tonight I just want to focus purely on us," I say in a soft tone, smiling a tense smile.

He nods, kissing me, then moving his lips to my jaw, my ear, my neck and back again. I let out a low moan that only he can hear and he growls mischievously in response.

He pulls away and kisses me once on the cheek, sending a surge of heat through me, before we head back inside where he puts his hands around my waist and begins to dance to the soft music.

I notice that Katniss and Peeta join us along with many other couples but I try only to hold my focus on the man in front of me. Drinking him in. He has made an effort, brushed his hair so it wasn't in his face, his tie could use straightening but to be honest he is perfect the way he is. I sway with him, admiring him before I notice that Snow is gliding toward us and yet again I feel my body tense up as I try and crush my body into Haymitch's so I can become invisible.

He taps on Haymitch's shoulder, "May I cut in?"

Haymitch's jaw clenchs and I can tell he is reluctant to leave but he gives a curt nod, releasing me and took his place by the wall. His eyes trained on me to make sure Snow doesn't try anything funny.

"Well well, Ms. Heather Milton. I didn't expect to see you here. I am guessing you are with Katniss and Peeta, yes?"

I gaze into his snake like eyes, his whole demeanour making me want to vomit. He rests his hands on my hips causing me to shudder as part of my brain tells me to run.

"What's it to you?" I snap through clenched teeth, making sure I don't say anything that I would soon regret.

"To be honest, I thought you were dead, but in all honesty who would actually care. Certainly no one I know," he whispers, the venom dripping from his voice.

Tears threaten to spill over my eyelids as I contemplate what he had said, _who would care?_

I want him to let go of me as I try and pull away but his grip is like an iron vice, "Let go of me!" I hiss, my voice high with fright.

He smiles, chuckling as I squirm, trying to find a way out of his grip, "I think you'll enjoy this year's Quarter Quell. Obviously I will not tell you who will be entered but I am sure there are a few people you still care about..." he says, eyeing up Haymitch, Katniss, Peeta.

"Your hurting me!" I cry, my hands beginning to turn purple as his grip blocks my circulation.

Haymitch intervenes and pulls me away, placing his arms protectively around me. Snow took the hint and walks off, greeting guests as he goes.

After the meal, we were back on the train. The meeting with Snow had me on edge and I really felt uncomfortable with Effie's eyes on me, so I excuse myself to Haymitch's room and climb into the shower. The warm water soothing my muscles since they were still tense from the terrifying encounter with Snow. I hear the door open, hoping that who ever it was that they would leave me alone.

"Heather?" Haymitch calls, knocking on the bathroom door. I ignore it and slide myself so I was sitting. The water intertwined with my tears as I sob. Haymitch opens the door, shutting off the water and helps me out of the shower. He places a towel around me and carefully rubs me so I am almost dry before leaving to get me a shirt.

I pull it on and allow him to carry me over to the bed which he lets me curl up next to him, "I mean it, I am so sorry Heather."

I shook it off, moving my head over his chest so I could hear his heartbeat, and brought my hands up to examine them in the dim light.

I hear a low growl in his chest as he sees the bruises that have started to form on my wrists, "I am so sorry sweetheart," he whispers.

Huddling closer to him, I kiss his neck, my lips tracing his skin as he leans into my touch. He rolls over and places a hand on my thigh, travelling up over my hips and to my stomach. I unbutton his shirt until there was nothing between us. I trace the scar on his abdomen, watching as his face twisted with pleasure. How did I deserve Haymitch? Yeah so what, he used to be a drunk and who cares that everybody thinks he is a cruel man. I know in my heart that he was just a man who seeks another person's love. I didn't deserve him. I was broken into a million tiny pieces and could give him nothing. But he just smiles and presses his lips back to mine. My hand slipping behind his neck and into his hair, and I let him press his body against mine. I let him claim me, let him claim my broken soul which he carefully puts back together. Taking a piece and replacing it with a part of his soul.

"I love you," he moans as his lips brush against my neck. I arch my eyebrows, watching as he drinks me in, "I love you too Haymitch."


End file.
